Needing
by GarnetEwe
Summary: In a world where no one wants you, the only person person you can rely on is the one you hate most. One-Shot.


_I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you..._

The same three words echoed through her head over and over again, like a record trapped in time, forced to replay the same tune for eternity. Her hair hung lifeless, damp from crying. She sat on the floor, leaning against the wall in complete darkness, shielded from prying eyes where nobody could see her sobbing. The only light was a thin streak eminating from a slit in the door, slightly ajar after it bounced back upon being slammed.

_I hate you, but I need you..._

Asuka grasped her legs and pulled them tightly toward her body, leaning her chin on her knees as tears slid down her flushed cheeks. She had been alone here for hours, unable to bring herself to leave the solace of her comfort zone. Shinji was around, somewhere, lingering about, hopeless, worthless, incapable of comforting her. He had looked at her, watched her and glared from behind lowered eyelids but he never said a word to make her feel better. He shyed away from the unpleasentries as per usual.

_I hate you Shinji, I hate you....I hate that I need you._

* * *

"Misato called." Shinji said, standing beside Asuka as she squatted before the fridge.

"Mmm."

He sighed heavily before sitting down at the table, "You're needed for tests."

Asuka took a can from the fridge before slowly closing the door and sitting across from Shinji. There was a moments silence as both of them sat with their heads bowed, eyes hidden by the shadow of their hair.

"Again?" Asuka mumbled, breaking the silence with a loud hiss as she broke the seal on her can. Gently raising the drink to her lips, she took a lengthy sip before pausing and slamming the can onto the table surface. "Why do I have to keep doing this!" Shinji flinched but didn't look up from his vacant gaze. Asuka's outbursts had become something of a normality to him and hearing her shouting like this was nothing short of ordinary. "Why? Tell me why Shinji!" She screamed as she shot to her feet, fists clenched and shaking, eyes burning into the cowering boy before her.

"I don't know." He replied, almost inaudibly. "I'm just the messenger."

"Well I wish you weren't!" She screeched, banging her hands on the table. "All you ever do is bring bad news and I'm tired of it!"

"It's not my fault." He whispered, trembling.

"Of course it's not. It's never your fault is it Shinji!? You don't understand, you never could. You, that girl, you're loved, people need you, you can still pilot your Eva!"

"It's not my fault!" Shinji screamed, standing up and lunging toward Asuka, hands outstretched preparing to grip her neck. Asuka never moved an inch from where she stood and managing to compose himself at the last minute, Shinji stopped with his hands hovering around her throat.

Neither one moved for a short time after. They stood glaring at each other, unblinking.

"It's not my fault Asuka. I can't help it if you can't synch with your Eva."

"So tell me, why do you never hold me? Never love me? Never comfort me?" Asuka's voice shook as she spoke. "You just run away like you always do, nothing but a coward. I hate you Shinji, I hate you, why don't you just run away and die!?"

"Because I'm afraid."

"Me too."

In the midst of the outburst Asuka's can had been knocked onto the floor and the contents were now spilling out, seeping into the ground with nothing to confine them to their container. Shinji's hands lay idle in the air, still beside Asuka's throat.

"So," He began. "Where do we go from here?"

"Will any of this change?"

"No. I hate you too."

"So kill me."

Shinji's hands clasped the gir's slender neck and squeezed tightly. Her expression remained one of absolute disdain and her eyes saw right through him, right into him and he couldn't bare it. As his fingers pinched her soft flesh, Shinji felt tears form, blurring his vision and causing him to fling his head back with an ear piercing scream.

* * *

Shinji placed his head in his hands and collapsed onto the table, sobbing uncontrollably, quivering all over.

"You coward." Came Asuka's spiteful voice. "You couldn't even kill me could you?"

Shinji continued to sob, shaking his head from side to side. Asuka was on her feet, looking at the floor with a furrowed brow. It seemed that neither of them could complete the task, despite wanting to. With nothing more to say to one another the two went their seperate ways, Asuka returning to her room and Shinji to his. Both were sat in the dark with only a stream of light to illuminate the otherwise dark void.

"I need you." The girl stammered, hugging her knees.

"I need you too." Came his quiet reply, as he rewound his cassette.

_In the end, we are both weak._


End file.
